” I have of late—wherefore I know not—lost all my mirth”
Oil on canvas study
And so, here we are then, at the turgid fag end of my 50th year. A lamentable passage of twelve months that has seemed overshadowed by the burden of financial hardship, bereavement and personal sleights of effrontery.
So more of 2016 then.
Birth, Death and taxing.
One could be forgiven for thinking this small study-painted during a week that began with sweeping fires in California, several days without power and concluded with my cars transmission taking an unruly shit- all seems to hit a little close to home. Rag and bone, man.
Lest we forget the ongoing Trumpster fire that was 2017. I mean, go on-try! The ass you cannot wipe.
I know, I know, its all doom and gloom from here on in, but looking down the barrel of a Christmas, that promises to give Bob Cratchets measly stipend a run for his shilling, one can’t help but wonder as an artist what is the fucking point? Why continue adding to the mire of seeming indifference when the rewards seem so diminutive. More wood for the fire dear?
And given that, how does one look ahead with a vestige of hope?
Is there no more haste to the passage of years end than the hope that next year promises some respite from that? I mean, what moronic vainglory and delusion. “And the next day, and another day….”
I don’t have one iota of an answer to be honest. Year in year out, the only constant remains. The continuing blind foolish compulsion to bring some semblance of meaning to the burgeoning chaos. Some way to fill the banality of black mediocre existence, though never the coffers, by elevating it all with moments of creative eloquence and epiphany. How better should one fill their time? Actually, don’t answer that.
Art, the folly of dunces- I know. A clod that continues to reach into the fire with charred fingers, but as a stoic and no doubt cigar chomping Churchill once growled, without art, what the fuck are we fighting for?
To that end, there is preparation for a solo show in the offing which I will be announcing shortly. Likely my penultimate one before the one which will be my very last.
Perhaps by then I’ll have learned my lesson after all.
Until such time, don’t darken my door again 2017, you bastard.